10 years on: what really stays after a degree (and what doesn’t)
Today marks 10 years since I graduated.
TEN. YEARS. SINCE. MY. DEGREE. IN. MUSIC.
Every day that passes, it feels like you’re moving forward through phases, things to do, thoughts, and everything everyday life puts in front of you.
And then, one day, your Future You suddenly jumps, looks back and — hop! — realises that time has passed much faster than it felt while you were living it.
We often feel like nothing more than professional collectors of failures and missed opportunities.
Or at least, for a long time, I felt that way myself.
Especially because voices inside me kept saying:
“You need to grow up.”
“You need to get your feet on the ground.”
“Find a real job.”
“It’s not the right time for your dreams.”
“Pick ONE thing.”
“You can’t do everything at once.”
“You need to think about money.”
And for all that time, I actually listened to those voices.
Only then I discovered something:
they weren’t mine.
They were people who, by sharing those thoughts, were trying to protect me.
But over time, I ended up drifting further and further away from myself.
From my soul.
From who I really am.
Two years ago I realised something even more clearly: my soul was suffering because, for too long, I had moved away from art.
Until I completely lost myself in that “dark forest” (cit.) which became the daily frustration of not having made it.
I kept sending CVs to go back to writing, to doing everything that truly made me feel good.
I would always get one step away from the door…
but that door would always close.
I kept watching others find jobs, grow in their careers, play concerts and organise successful events, without ever really understanding what they had that I seemed to lack.
“I’m not stupid. I have experience, I’m willing, I’m extremely flexible… Sure, they’re all different, but why don’t they see that this could be a strength instead of a reason to reject me every time?”,
I kept telling myself with every rejected application, every unanswered email (what a habit, this ghosting, eh).
And in fact, I’ve done a lot of things…
from babysitting to teaching languages for 16 years,
from TV programmes to radio shows,
from digital marketing to call centres…
In the end, I’ve never really been still.
Then I discovered something I didn’t yet know would change my life forever.
In 2019 I signed up on the European Commission Youth portal to explore the European Solidarity Corps projects (previously EVS — European Voluntary Service — now ESC).
I told myself:
“I’m not looking for a job anymore.
I’m only applying to European volunteering projects that interest me.
The first one that accepts me, I go.”
And that’s exactly what happened.
First 5 weeks of a short team project in Domžale (Slovenia, near Ljubljana), and right after, 5 months of a long-term project in Vukovar, at YPGD.
Then one year of Universal Civil Service at Stranaidea, where I took care of research, applications, monitoring and language mentoring for other volunteers.
Yes. In the middle of Covid.
Then in 2021 I also got my Youthpass as a mentor for ESC volunteers.
Then another two years working on writing, proofreading and UX for the new General Training platform for ESC volunteers.
And then my (re)move to Vukovar in May 2022 (and to Vinkovci in September of the same year) to take part in Erasmus for Young Entrepreneurs at Mladi protiv gladi and learn how to start my first activity in the third sector.
In the meantime, I also organised two Time To Move campaigns and participated in Croatian Eurodesk as a representative of YPGD.
And now… I’ve become a mentor myself for volunteers.
Only to suddenly realise that I had also attended a European language high school! Without even noticing, I had just closed the circle.
And that’s where, looking back, I understand something.
It’s not that I “wasn’t going anywhere”.
It’s that I was building something without yet knowing what it was called.
For years I thought I was inconsistent.
Scattered.
Someone who tries a thousand things without following through.
In reality, I was doing exactly what I needed:
putting all the pieces together.
Music.
Writing.
Working with people.
European projects.
Digital.
Youth work.
Only that, when you do this, for a long time it feels like you’re just… going in circles.
Because that’s what they tell you to do: choose one thing, right?
Until at some point, something aligns.
And I asked myself:
“What if the point wasn’t choosing just one thing, but finding ONE system to do them all (and well)?”
Because in the end, I am plural.
In everything.
I’ve always done many things at once and this mental hyperactivity of mine gives me great satisfaction and deep pleasure.
And that’s when you realise you weren’t lost.
You were just creating something that didn’t exist yet.
Something that truly speaks about you.
That knows how you think, how you move, how you create.
That listens to others, sure, but in the end says:
“Thank you for your suggestion, but I prefer to continue on my own path.”
For a long time I wished for something like this.
Then I realised I had to create it. MYSELF.
Because no one else would do it for me.
Because no one in the job market would accept me as I am.
For me, that “thing” now has a name:
Rockemy Lab .
And since, despite everything, I can never think only about myself, this “thing” is not just mine: it’s for those who have never felt enough, too much or too little.
For those who have felt out of place.
For those who want to do something — but don’t know where to start.
Does it resonate, huh?
Well, welcome.
You’ve finally found your starting point too.
I’m here with you, for you, to share it with you.
What do you need to do?
Well, simple.
The very first step is to sign up below to the waiting list so you don’t miss the official launch of the Rockemyletter.
Will it be worth it?
I think so.
But I’ll let you decide.
But to decide… you have to read it.
And to read it… you have to sign up, right?
So go on, sign up.
Because from today, the music changes.
See you on the other side.
Ciao.
[form]
